The Environment Minister Paradox

"WTF." - BMW

Free Ridin'

Google's developing a self-driving car

Microsoft was developing one too

But it kept crashing

Bread, Butter and Underwear

Dear Harry Redknapp

You are obviously not paying your players enough. Or is that the hot spur in him?

Regards

UNJoke

If Wyclef was President,
They'd trip him on Friday
They'd trip him on Saturday
They'd trip him on Sunday
They'd trip him on Monday
If Wyclef was President,...

How He Might Have Met Their Mother

I personally feel he can't stretch it much longer now. His kids would just send him to an old age home and go ask their mother how their father met her if they really care. The only other occasion when the children took more than five years to find out the story of their parents ended with the mother dying during childbirth, the daughter featuring in the most famous sci-fi bikini scenes, the son killing the father and the defeat of the Dark Side.

If you're bored as well (or were bored already a long long time ago) and want to skip the unimportant stuff then these are the probable endings based on how many more seasons they plan to have:

Season 16

The Circle of Life is Complete

"There's more to be seen than can ever be seen, More to do than can ever be done." agreed General Specific has he checked out his wall and notifications.


I discovered that the human pictures I used here are from a fascinating bit of work done which you can check out here

World Cup 2010 - 10th July, 2010

"Waka Waka blah blah something something..." mocked General Specific.

This post shall be regularly taking you through the highlights of the FIFA World Cup 2010. It will be updated only at my leisure and might not be updated ever again if I run out of creativity or situations.

Football Anthem: Belly Sag

[Chorus]
When I get older, I will be manager,
And not some ol’ geezer, with a fancy price tag
Who doesn’t know jack, who doesn’t know jack
Who doesn’t know jack, who doesn’t know…


Allow Wayne to pack, demote John,
No Jens Lehmann, No Oliver Kahn
Robinho’s happy, he’s been on loan
But Messi’s tired, all the way to the bone
Ballack got injured, as did Essien
Something’s wrong with Ancelotti’s men
The Coles don’t have a club, one of them no wife
Don’t know about the Sri Lankan on his bench

Crouching Tiger is Just a Wicket-Keeper

Between 12th March and 16th May there have been like 60 IPL T20 games and 30 T20 WC games. Assuming fairly decent over rates, that results into roughly 350 hours of T20 cricket which is over 20% of the 1500-odd hours between the aforementioned dates. For a sport which some 7 nations in the world take seriously, that's investing too much time in it.

We Men and Women

If you observe carefully then you’ll realize that the water problems all started as the sex ratio started dipping. In the developing countries where there are severe water supply problems, the sex ratios are far lower than what they are in the developed nations. Rain water harvesting and fighting over rivers will only get one so far. The population is growing but the water isn’t. On the other hand, daughters are renewable resources and their regeneration is ideally proportional to the population. This could be a very effective way to alleviate the water problems.

Red is inverse of water availability and black is sex-ratio

Men are from Earth and women are from Earth. Cross-dressers might be from Uranus but lets not go into that. Women would like the world to believe that both sexes are equally capable of stuff. For a specie with more males than females more or less all around the planet it‘s amazing to see how it’s always men having secret wives/girlfriends and never wives having secret husbands/boyfriends despite there being many more men to go around for every women. There are like a hundred million women missing in Asia itself DESPITE which the Pandava way is out and the Sultan way is in. Even Rakhi Sawant managed to have a kumpetison for her marriage and Ayesha Whoever managed to get secretly married to Shoaib Malik whose current wife, on the other hand, is a Muslim Tennis player from India who is in that stage of her career where the media still tries to respect her and politely prints “Crashes out” headlines every time she tries to participate in a tournament and gets owned.

And you might be mistaken into believing that this missing women phenomenon is just limited to Asia. Don’t. South America has latinos and everything works fine there but there are incidents being reported from Europe and the Americas too. They’re chasing away lost boys in America so that they don’t compete for wives with their elders while they’re replacing little boys and girls for wives in churches. The developed world seems to be a step ahead again, damnit!

The other school of thought believes that there isn’t much we can do to fix the problem since marriages are made in heaven. They are then celebrated down here shortly after which they’re dissolved. The excuse is generally that it wasn’t the one. The only time it turned out to be the one, Trinity had to die. More often the case is that he isn’t the one but he had enough money to sign pre-nups with. More men per woman translates into more rich men per woman which results in the Vicious Skirt Cycle (VSC).

The Vicious Skirt Cycle

If this theory were applicable in all segments of the population then only the rich could mate and produce offspring and we would have witnessed poor people getting phased out through evolution and the Scots would have kept going around in circles. Since that isn’t happening we know that this doesn’t apply to the whole population. What has been suggested for the remaining population is that true love isn’t a farce. They state that true love is prone to false alarms but if you look hard enough, you’ll find it.

Finding love in Australia

There are other events that support my postulate too. Remember when they found Chinese babies in a Chinese river? Many of them were girls and all of them were dead. India isn’t doing much better with many states reporting a sub-900 sex ratio and Russian daughters are the main propagators of VSC and are more of a step forward and two backwards. This brings me to my conclusion.

The problem starts much before we experience it - there just aren’t enough daughters to grow up and become women

If everyone just had more daughters then the world would be completely fine and everyone could practice monogamy like the man/dad wants us to. There would be more women drivers which would results in more accidents and would eventually bring about a greater dependence on public transport thereby countering global warming. Those few boys in fourth grade who don’t have to sit with a girl when the class is being punished will run out of luck and everyone will be punished equally. The benefits are innumerable. Here are some heart-warming pictures from previous Take Your Daughter To Work Days which would be much more fun if there were more daughters.

The USA

China

Pakistan

The International Space Station

Hollywood

India

If this post made a difference to how you feel about daughters then please share it with your friends. If you share it with atleast ten of your friends then your next baby will be of the sex you want him to be.

Jesus Loves You

I Got Religion

A friend once took me to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (and their page stats seem to tell me that I'm one of the only chaps in India who has entered it apart from the friend who took me). It's a lot of bull like all other religions but it has a point. On top of that he's a convenient god to believe in and worship and also has an International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Beat that Jesus.

The church by the way was mainly full of people claiming to have seen Him. His noodly appendages seem to be there everywhere where things looked complicated which covers quite a lot. I was slightly cynical about the whole thing until I suddenly spotted him in class once. I think he winked at me.

 

Curcumin by the way present in turmeric and is responsible for the yellow color.
It’s also a potential anti-cancer agent.
This guy watches over us and makes our food look good. Hallelujah!

And over the next few days I realised that [Hugh Grant voice] He actually is... all around.

He is inside us. Processing our proteins and making sure everything's hunky dory.

And then he's inside the proteins too.

He's trying to protect the Sundarbans by being the Sundarbans.

He's in outer space making sure the guys at NASA earn their bread and butter.

He's the face of the fight against AIDS. That's about it.

He's there protecting the self-respect of (adult sexy) Hula dancers worldwide.

 

(28th Aug 2011: This post has become very popular on Google Images because of

this picture andt herefore I must correctly attribute it to where I got it from

He is responsible for semi-conductors behaving the way they do.

The Last Laugh