Friday, February 19, 2016

Kudremukh, Karnataka, India

Kudremukh is one of the highest peaks in the state of Karnataka. It's called so because it resembles a horse's face which seems unfair considering we still call Sarah Jessica Parker Sarah Jessica Parker. K has nothing to feel bad about because the resemblance belongs to the same group as constellations and north Indian street food on south Indian streets. If you didn't already know which part resembles the horse face, assuming you know what a horse face looks like, you might not even recognise it when you see it.

It is an overnight journey away from Bangalore. The trek itself spans a total of 10 hours, reaches an altitude of about 2000 m, and never really becomes hard. If you're lost, you're likely to find a trail, other trekkers, locals, or your now cranky guide who has been looking for you. You won't be so tired by the end of it that you can't leave for Bangalore straightaway and reach by next morning but our organisers decided to keep us overnight, maybe to help the home stay guy make an extra buck and / or to let us play in the streams the next morning. This meant a Saturday evening making forced conversation, the best part of a Sunday cooped up in a Tempo Traveller, but a glorious Saturday night sleeping under the stars.

Pictures of Vegetation

If I were a spy tree trying to eavesdrop I'd keep dropping fruit so that people stayed around
until they had finished their conversation about how they smuggle arms into other countries.
The fruit would have truth serum and another alcohol like chemical that makes people talk louder.

Or pick a better location where people would be tired and would
appreciate the shade as they talked about their nuclear defense plans.
The undercover tree providing cover. Nobody would think of it.

If Hanuman got those collecting leaves sort of assignments for holiday homework, did he
do it or did he walk into school with a dried mountain between the pages of his art book?

Are these Touch Me Nots?
Old, withered, dry, alone and still they don't put out.

If you choose to sleep in the open, you might wake up to some tall dark figures looming over you.
Make sure you set your alarm to 'another little baby child is born in the ghetto' in advance.

Pictures of Creatures Small, Not Really Big or Bright or Beautiful

If Disney bought the rights to Harry Potter and made an animated
animal populated version of it, this thing should play Trelawny.

Roald Dahl's vermicious knids might have been inspired from leeches.

There's a stream flowing a foot below the net.
I think spiders are soon going to discover fishing.

Pictures of People With Hills in the Background

When free delivery doesn't matter to you.

An ascent on one side and a long slide downhill on the other can get Indians to stay in line.

She needs to maintain better posture when sitting.

The hills share an uncomfortable relationship with people.
Look them in the eye and a shadow passes over their faces.

Until a certain altitude, it's advisable to not lie down.
The bigger the area facing the sky, the higher the chances that something will shit on that area.

For instance, it would have been very unfortunate if you were taking a nap in the
soft grass at exactly the time and place where this guy is currently squatting.
However, if you had been sitting or standing, you might not get so much on you.

Other Things

When life gives you slippery slopes, make slides.
There is electricity but if you don't light a campfire then you're going to get bad reviews.

India's dating scene.

If your skin looks like this already, you should discard your moisturiser and conditioner.
Don a Fantastic Four costume instead.
Say you're The Thing in a gruff voice.
Win oodles of cash at Comic Cons.

Coming from Bangalore, an open road is also a tourist attraction.

The peak is a picture of serenity.

This phallic thing seemed to be the attraction at the top.
It made women feel a certain way.

Dress code for those worried about getting lost and not being spotted by a helicopter.

Money can buy you pearls and gems,
But Manikanta buy you love.

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